Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Damn it!

Can you actually believe that I have posted 11 times on this blog and deleted thrice without actually devoting an entire post to this ever-nagging question?


I mean, what is your opinion about the subject? I have asked this question to many people without ever receiving a satisfactory answer from anyone, except for a fellow who now is in Singapore making a fool of himself-No Comments.

I started out in this noble mission of asking anyone and everyone this question of honour that tested everyone's valour when I was going nuts doing my final year of school. (Henceforth I was sent to the asylum which I visit everyday). People were non-plussed, dazed, confunded, demented and illuminated as they struggled with their wits, their conscience, their values, their ethics, and their System Software. As Gandhi once said (On the second page of all CBSE textbooks) "will this help find Swaraj for the millions? You will find your doubts and your boredom melting away."
Or something of that sort.

I asked this question only to ensure that I did not always monopolize a conversation with anyone in a manner in which only the rich, the powerful, and the important can do in smoke-filled boardrooms many miles away, from which they monitor the activities of every one individual. I asked this question so that conversation would not be one-way and would extract some information from the other person.

Things somehow went wrong somewhere down the line. People started feeling non-plussed, dazed, confunded, demented, illuminated, irritated, bored and obnoxious to say the least. They would never answer this question despite being prompted, threatened or begged to so. I even tried throwing the question at people off-guard, responded with the question whenever I picked up the phone, and even tried posting the question on our otherwise defunct online group. But to no avail.

I have to carry out my next step in a carefully planned phased out manner. You will see it when you encounter it.

Yours questioningly,

P.S. : What is your opinion about the subject?

Monday, February 27, 2006

Symposium Woes

My good friend Mahesh seems to divide his college going time into two equal halves- the time he attends his own college, and the time he visits other colleges. Naturally, he seems to have a list of college woes that are longer than everyone else's, as these include other colleges too. He is so intent on visiting other colleges that he event went to great lengths to type out the entire schedule of one such college's culturals on his blog. I mean, this is absolute craziness. A visit once in a while is ok, but to visit twice a week... I however am not typing out this post to find fault with a good friend of mine.

I am going to point out the common problems encountered by the unsuspecting, unwary student who wanders into one of these events by chance, or to evade classes or to improve his visual acuity by looking at those that the eye naturally has an acuity for. Or of course, we have the odd one who sincerely hopes to participate and win and put it on his resume.(Mahesh belongs to this category I hope).

1. The inauguration invariably starts at-least one hour behind schedule.

2. The inauguration invariably ends only a few minutes behind schedule with the Chief Guest leaving in a huff as he was forced to cut-short his beautifully prepared lecture on the maintenance of obscure power plants.

3. Participants have to register for all events beforehand, sometimes even on computers, where all details are entered into a database, whose file is then selected with the left mouse button and then awarded with a majestic SHIFT+DELETE key combination.

4. Participants are invariably presented with the map of the miniscule college premises that never actually tally with the real layout of the college.

5. Participants are invariably presented with the useless assortment of files, pens, scribbling pads, CDs and other odds and ends that invariably end up in the local dust bin or in front of a cycle's handlebar.

6. Events which were originally planned to be held in such-and-such timings are invariably held at all timings except the such-and-such time.

7. Lunch is provided at prices that would have made Dhirubai Ambani think twice before eating. In case lunch is provided free of cost, it is made sure that it is so lousy that the Ambhani brothers would have hugged each other rather than partake the offerings. And without any seating arrangements.

8. Events are conducted by final year students who are in no mood to conduct an event, but to have loads of fun. If at all events are conducted with some seriousness, care is taken to ensure that the host has absolutely no knowledge what he is doing. Sounds like something right out of an Alistair Mclean book involving a commando mission doesn't it? "The little you know the better".

9. Usually, the quiz is the worst affected. It either involves a selection of questions copy pasted from the first hit in google for the keyword "quiz" and a visual-round that consists of videos lifted from encyclopedias, or a desperate attempt at outdoing the previous year's Odyssey quiz.

10. The host invariably tries to emulate Derek O'Brien, but ends up being worse than the fellow who used to conduct "A question of Answers" on DD. Nothing against him though.

11. Prizes are distributed at the end of the day to all those participants who were the friends of the hosts. Participation Certificates are awarded to all other honest participants.

12. Prize money is usually so large that the winners invariably have to file Income Tax returns. The money however vanishes into thin air after a few samosas at the local canteen.

For further details of a first-hand experience, contact my good friend Mahesh.

So, I sincerely advice you to not got to any of the culturals unless you know the host on a first-name basis, or want an upset stomach, or of course want to improve your visual acuity. Otherwise, better sit at home and try to figure out the probability of selecting a defective component from a selection of a thousand un-biased pieces.

Yours Symposially,

Friday, February 24, 2006

Two Fingers and an Ankle

My last post made a reference to two fingers and an ankle. It has been interesting to discover certain parallels in history.

Achilles was born to Peleus, the king of Myrmidons in Phthia and his wife, the sea-nymph, Thetis. When he was born, his mother tried to make him immortal by dipping him in the river Styx. However, the holy water did not touch his ankle, where his mother held him with her index and middle finger. Hence, Achilles weak spot was his heel. In the Trojan war, his rival Hector kills him with an arrow directed at his one weak spot. How he managed to aim an arrow at the heel of an opponent who was running at Olympic Record Speeds is a different story altogether. So much for the ankle. What about the two fingers? Achilles' mother Thetis became a prolific writer and a much in-demand journalist, who is said to be one of the forerunners of investigative journalism. Where did she get this ability to write well from? From the strength her fingers received from dipping a baby in a river.

Well, I made most of the last parts of the story myself. Homer never makes any reference to the strength Thetis might have received from dipping her fingers into a river.

I have never read Illiad or Odyssey or Landmark or whatever. This are all one hundred percent courtesy Wikipedia.

Yours Mythologically,

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Two Fingers and an Ankle

I think I am just not made to play strenuous sports like cricket. This is because I just cant seem to be able to return from a cricket match without having been inflicted by a grevious injury. If you're an Anna University student, You'll know that four of our examinations were postponed. If you are not an Anna University student, then Buzz off.

Three days before I was to take on the Maths III Examination, I was working hard at the cricket ground trying to save my team from losing by attempting to do some spectacular wicket-keeping. A certain character called Robin who seems to have hot blood rushing through his veins eternally, was the chucker(bowler). He literally let her rip. All that I could see of the ball was a yellow streak rushing along a foot above the ground. Conventional wisdom would have suggested that I either try to stop it with my foot, or let it go all together, come hell or high water. I however decided nothing is too fast for me and plunged my hand (My right hand) bravely into the oncoming incarnation of Satan. The ball made its way right in-between my little finger and my ring finger, and proceeded merrily all the way to the boundary. (The ball was a wide, hadn't touched the bat and needed no stopping, according to our rules).

Three weeks later, I visited an orthopedician, who was of the opinion that the swelling was due to the accumulation of some goddamn fluid. Why is it goddamn? Try writing four exams with your little finger pointing to the heavens. This incidentally is the same injury Harbhajan Singh is suffering from right now with his bowling finger. He recommended physiotherapy, prescribed some of the most costliest medicenes ever invented, took a hundred rupees and roared off in a Mercedes(little wonder). The physiotherapist massaged my finger with some gel...whether I received physiotherapy or not she did...she was panting at the end of the session. Each session costed Rs 50/- a nominal ammount. I avoided the place with fervour thereafter.

But my woes were not to be over. A week after the finger injury, before visiting the doc., I was doing some spectacular fielding... I ran after a ball that was travelling like a tortoise, picked it up and threw it back to the bowler. Then I as I was running back to my position, stepped on a brick, which lent itself to some rolling and the next thing I knew, I was staring up at the skies with a sprained ankle...thank God I didnt consult the doc for that. The injury still hasn't left me.

Now, a week ago, when I felt that all my bad times were over and was confident enough to convince a reluctant Harish to give up his wicket-keeping post back to me, Vinod, who we all affectionately know as Aavi_wall, bowled a sharp delivery, which the batsman completely missed. I placed my hand at the right place, but my thumb was a touch reluctant in getting out of the path of the bullet. What resulted was a wounded thumb, which I am even unable to use even for signing my autograph.

In retrospect, I think I should have gone for my other passion...sky-diving. Here, you either survive or you dont. There is no in-between and there is no pain involved.

Yours injuredly,

P.S. : What is your opinion about the subject?

Friday, February 17, 2006

Impact of British Rule in India

Sometimes I feel that many aspects of the British rule in India did do a lot of good despite having adverse effects on India. I am not an expert on history, being a mega failure at the subject in school, but of what little I did understand, I believe the British could have been a bit more lenient in their rule, thereby prolonging their rule in India benefitting both themselves and Indians. For one, they could have given British citizenship to all Indians, and treated them as equals. Indians could have been given equal representation in the parliament.

Gandhi wanted Swaraj for the individual. He wanted every individual to have the fundamental rights of religion, speech, suffrage, action and any other fundamental right I may have forgotten. I feel that if the British Government had been so willing, they could have done a better job of providing these than what our current governments are doing.

India got part of its heritage from the British rule. India's railways, postal servvices, legal and judicial systems, and other government based services are all derived mainly from the British systems. British rule actually helped unite India, which till then was quite fragmented. India is great in its culture and its values, but the British were better off in terms of technology and were good in planning. For example, in their Summer base in Shimla from where they ruled, they had a Fire Extinguishing system long before today's electronic devices were available. The roof of every room had neatly arranged pipelines that had little holes on them which were covered in wax. If a fire were to break out, the wax would get melted and cold water would then fall on the fire from the pipes, thereby extinguishing the fire or bringing the fire under control or atleast giving people a bit of time to get to safety. I would not say they were economically stronger, for if they had not looted a lot of stuff from here, the economic strength of a united India would have been far greater than Her Majesty's treasuries.

In general had the British rule continued (in the way I described above), Our country would have been better developed, economically stronger and a more powerful force and a painful partition need never had happened. In a lighter vein, our cricket team would have consisted of Jayasuriya, Flintoff, Inzi, Akhtar and many others and we would have felt truely happy had they performed well.

Well, that was not to be and I love My motherland no matter what its shortcomings are. There is no point thinging of the ifs and the buts over something that is over and long gone.

I know that many patriots will respond to these radical views in my blog saying that we needed to be independent and all that, but I believe they would have been quite happy under British rule if only it had been more friendly and not so opppressive.

Yours patriotically,


Deleted Posts

I have deleted a couple of my previous posts as they were... um... incriminating... I have them saved on my computer now. You can view it by requesting for it in person.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Some Kadis

These are some Kadis I recieved some years ago that were still in my inbox. You might be knowing most of these, but hey I tried them on a younger cousin of mine and he didnt know most of them. So, here I put up a list of Kadi jokes that were once famous...

person1: oru erumba "cut" panna enna Aagum..
person2: "cuterumbu" aayidum....
nabar 1: Enpa ippadi cigarette pudikkara
nabar 2: Ippadi than pudikanum, thiruppi pudicha
naaku suttudum
nabar 1: cigarette pudicha cancer varum
nabar 2: Illaye,nan pudikkum bothu Pogai than vandhudhu
nabar 1: yen cigarette pidikkure
nabar 2: pidikklaiyanna keela vilundudum
Person 1 : Unga ponnuku entha vasanai pudikkum ?
Person 2 : Pakkath veetu Srinivasana-i pudikkum
Person1 : What is the opposite of PENGUIN ?
Person2 : AAN KING (!)
Q:Which Bird can lift heavy things ?
Q:Which bird can write
Q:Pura(Dove) kittayum, Anil(Squirel) kittaiyaum letter anupicha edhu correcta poi serum?
A:Anilthan, yenna adhu kittathan Pin Codu Irukku.
A: What is the opposite of MAZHAIMEGAM
B: Mazhai may not come!!
Person 1: What's opposite of Krishnaswamy ?
Person 2: Krishna did not see me!
Person 1: then what's opposite of Krishnaveni?
Person 2: Theriyalaiyea!
Person 1: T.Nagar Bus stand! (He! He! (Krishnaveni theatre is opposite to T.Nagar Bus stand at Madras)
Teacher: What is the opposite of Area?
Student: Yeranguya !
MAN 1: "Ponnuku enna vaiasu aavarudhu " ?
MAN 2:"Aadi vandha... 16 mudiyum "
MAN 1:"Appo Aaadama vandha ???? "
Two College students finish their History exam and walk out of the exam hall. First Student: Vaa Tea saapadalaam .
Second Student: Ippo Dhaane COPY (...kapi/Coffee..) adicche ..Yedukkuda Tea?
Customer : Waiter! Yennai-paa saapad-lei oery ambathu-paisa coins-aa iruku?"
Waiter : "saar neenga thaaney meals-il change vennun-nu sonningey !"
What is the similarity between krishna jayanthi and communism?
Kaal marks.
How do flies communicate?
What is the similarity between short circuit and poramai?
What is the similarity between boxing and goddess kali?
Deepavalikkum pongalukkum yennanga vithyaasam?
Deepavali annikku pongal saapadalaam aana Pongal annikku Deppavaliya sapda mudiyaadhu.
LIC oda 14th floorla sandhanam poosi yirukkanga.Yaen?
Yaenna adhu Mottai maadi.
Oru annanum thangachchiyum oadi varranga. Annan maelmoochu vangaraan. Thangachchi? Ava Female moochchu vaanguvaaa
Eli(adhaanga Rat) adhukku yaen vaal yirukku?
Seththa pudichchu thookki poada.
LEO coffee a yaen kalyanam pannikka mudiyaadhu?
Yaenna "Manamaana" coffee LEO coffee
Mylapore-kkum, Mandaveli-kkum sandai vandha edhu win-pannum?
Mylapore, yenna avangakitta tank irukku.
Russia-la yen kosu-ve illai?
Yen-na, anga Kosukku vera peyar.
Yen, cinema theatre-la A-row la irukkara-vangalukku cinema ozhungave theriyalai?
Enna, A-row-kku munnala B-row (Bero) irukku.
Yen, desert-la irukkara post-office-la ellarum letter ezhudhittu, stamp vangittu, veliya pora?
Enna, veliya dhan otta-gum irukku.
Ramar (the mythological character) sithai-yathedindu lankai
kelambumbodhu kadal-ai thaandarathukku varar. Appo enna achariyam! Kadal avarukku appadiye vazhi vittuduthu. Yaen?
Enna, Where there is a will, there is a way.
Raja Harischandra use panna paste enna?
Traffic Inspectors enna paste use pannuva?
Harischandra-kku pudicha biscuit enna?
Bus-ai pinnala thallina enna aagum?
Pin valayium.
Oru yanai (elephant) vegama ration kadai pakkam odarathu. Athu anga enna vangum?
Muchu Vangum.
Oru English therinja maadu(cow) theatre pakkam porathu. Anga theatre kadhavai kadikka arambichuduthu! Yen?
Enna, Kadhavula "Pull"-nnu ezhudhirukku.
Japanese, Leaning Tower of Pisa kattina adhukku enna per veppa?
Mahathma Gandhijikkum, Kunnakudi Vaidyanathanukkum yenna vidyasam? Avar Non-violinist. Vaidyanathan Violinist.
Spin Bowlarruku pen kuzhandai perandal enna payru vaipar?
Bala Tiruppura Sundari
Independence day-kkum Republic day-kkum yenna vidyasam?
Sumar, anjara maasam.
Oru maami idli-a thalaila vechinda. Yaen?
Enn-na idli poo pola irundhudhu.
Kadri Gopalnath - Kunnakudi jugalbandi censor board banpannina.Yaen?
Romba Sax and violins

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Manichitrathazh (Malayalam Original Chandramukhi)

I just now watched Manichitrathazh, the malayalam film from which Chandramukhi was remade, on Asianet. Chandramukhi has faithfully reproduced certain aspects of the film (A lot of aspects) ranging from dialogs, camera angles and dance steps in the song "Oru Murai..." However, it is evident that of these two, Manichitrathazh was meant to be a commercial film dealing with split personality and its treatment whereas Chandramukhi was meant to be a blockbuster dealing with split personality and its treatment.

On the whole I felt that Manichtrathazh had the concept better covered. There was none of the foolishness with shining light into the aflictee's eyes and stuff. It was a much more simpler and more down to earth affair. Shobana's dancing was excellent though the song could never be as good as the RaRa Sarasikku RaRa. But even this song took a thing or two from the original like the Mirdhangam that starts at the beginning of the song(That when first heard gives goose bumps, after hearing a few time gives pleasure and later, irritation). Moreover, in Chandramukhi, our Saravanan asks Ganga what her name is, what her surname is, etc after she has fully woken. However in the Malayalam movie Mohanlal asks the same when she is under hypnosis which is the correct way to go about in in such cases. This is because many times, a person may not be completely cured of Multiple Personality Disorder(MPS), as was portrayed at the end of the film Anniyan, which could be ascertained by hypnosis. Speaking about Anniyan, one could say that the film was a good adaptation of the book "Tell Me Your Dreams" by Sydney Sheldon.

On the whole, the Malayalam version is more accurate when it comes to technical details of dealing with MPS, than Chandramukhi.

DISCLAIMER: I do not subscribe to any of the above views which are merely the views and opinions of my alternate self. It does not in anyway undermine my view that the Superstar is the best actor that is and Chandramukhi is one of the best films I've ever come across. As always, viewer discretion is adviced when reading this blog.